290 Funny Birthday Messages

Happy beer-thday, bud

Smile its your birthday

A toast on your birthday

Happy Womb Emigration Day

Happy National [Name] Day!

Wait wait wait, you're how old?

So many candles, so little cake!

Congratulations on the level-up!

You aren’t old, you’re a classic!

Happy birthday! So glad you were born

Happy National (Co-Worker's Name) Day!

Like an iPhone, you upgrade each year!

I know your real age Happy Birthday!

Don't just count the years. lie about them

What goes up but never comes down? Your age

Let them eat cake. And by them, I mean you!

We're not getting old. We're getting awesome

You're not old. You're chronologically gifted

You're not getting older, you're leveling up!

OMG You Are So Old You Probably Can't Read This

When did our wild oats turn into shredded wheat?

Happy birthday to my favorite human pillow! Thanks

However old you are is the new 20. Happy birthday!

Q: What goes up and never comes down? A: Your age!

At your age you're already finer than an old scotch

Happy, Happy Birthday to the "she" to my "nanigans"!

Remember, age gets better with wine. Happy Birthday!

I'm actually just here for the cake. Happy birthday!

Birthdays are like vacations: infrequent and fleeting

Better "over the hill" than under it. Happy Birthday!

It’s better to be over the hill than buried under it

Have a drink for me on your birthday! Or two...or four!

Congratulations on leveling up... err - happy birthday!

Happy birthday and keep up the good work getting older!

Older? Yes. Wiser? Not so much. Happy Birthday, bestie!

Every day we celebrate you... but today, you get a card

A true friend remembers your birthday, but not your age

Count your blessings, not your wrinkles. Happy birthday!

Older? For sure. Wiser? Not so much. Happy Birthday, bro!

I regret to inform you that your childhood has now expired

You might be prehistoric, but at least you're not extinct!

Happy birthday to an old lady who still knows how to party!

Loving you is a piece of cake. Now, it's time to eat yours!

We're both getting old, but why keep track. Happy birthday!

Older? Definitely. Wiser? …mmm debatable. Happy Birthday!

Knock, knock. Who’s there? Abby. Abby who? Abby birthday!

Here's to getting as lit as the candles on your cake today!

We're both getting old, but who's counting? Happy birthday!

Celebrate your birthday like a cat: by turning up the mewsic

Don't let aging get you down. It's too hard to get up again!

Let's party like it's your birthday because, oh wait, it is!

If you were Jesus, today would be Christmas. Happy birthday!

Have you heard? In banana years, you're ripe enough for bread!

Age is a matter of mind. If you don't mind, it doesn't matter!

Cheers to another year of pretending to know what you're doing!

Older? Definitely. Wiser? Definitely debatable. Happy Birthday!

Happy Birthday! Another milestone for you I'm not counting!

Happy birthday! We’re both getting old, but who’s counting?

Happy birthday! I think it’s great… how you used to be young

Is it hot in here? Must be all the candles on your birthday cake

Whoever said you can't teach an old dog new tricks never met you

Happy Birthday, old man. So glad you're still alive and cake-ing!

In dog years you're dead. Happy birthday to a man’s best friend!

Like cheese and fine wine, you’re only getting better with time!

Congrats on another year of successfully pretending to be an adult!

You're not getting older... just more distinguished! Happy Birthday

Smart, good looking, and funny! But enough about me. Happy birthday!

I can’t think of a better gift than my friendship. Happy birthday!

What did one veggie say to the other on its birthday? Ha pea birthday

Happy birthday. At least you’re not as old as you will be next year

Happy birthday! May your cake be as sweet as your lies about your age

My birthday wish for you is that your hangover tomorrow isn't too bad

May all your birthday wishes come true —except for the illegal ones!

If gray hair is a sign of wisdom, then you're a genius! Happy birthday

Everyone gets to be young once. Today it's official, your turn is over

Cheers to another year of being slightly less clueless than last year!

I didn’t forget your birthday, I’m just celebrating your birthweek!

Remember, age is just a number. In your case, a really, really high one

You know you've hit middle age when your back is hairier than your head

Cheers to another year of making bad jokes and laughing at them anyway!

Is it hot in here? Must be all the candles on your cake. Happy birthday!

Another birthday. There's no holding me back says notorious party animal

Remember to smile awkwardly as everyone sings you "Happy Birthday" today!

Happy birthday to a dude who isn't showing his age—or acting it, either

Congrats on completing another trip around the sun without getting burned!

Congratulations on another year of aging gracefully! Or at least trying to

Cheers to another year of being fabulously flawed and perfectly imperfect!

The secret to staying young is make-up—make-up an age, then stick with it

Congrats on another year of dodging adulthood like it's a game of dodgeball

Cheers to you! May your birthday be as unforgettable as my Netflix password

How do two pickle friends celebrate each other? They relish their birthdays

This birthday, just remember: there's absolutely no shame in the Botox game

Birthdays are just like golf—if you don’t keep count it's a lot more fun

Happy birthday! Remember, age is just a number... a really big, scary number

Happy birthday from the one who endures your farts and loves you all the same

Happy birthday! May your wrinkles be less noticeable than your laughter lines

Birthdays are like golfing — it's a lot more fun if you don’t keep count!

I just want to say on your special day, thanks for always being older than me

On your birthday, keep this in mind...you only look as old as your last selfie

Someone has to keep the party going. You’re welcome. Happy belated birthday!

I can’t tell if life is passing us by or trying to run us over. HBD, friend!

Don't worry about getting older. You're still gonna do dumb stuff, only slower

Congratulations on another year of being fabulous! Or at least pretending to be

You're another year older, but definitely not any wiser. Happy birthday bestie!

You are only young once, but you can be immature for a lifetime. Happy birthday!

A birthday is just nature's way of reminding you to pick up wine on your way home

Birthdays are the universe’s way of telling us to eat more cake. Happy Birthday!

Happy birthday to the most fabulous woman I know. Oh wait, it’s not my birthday!

Here’s to another year of questionable life decisions! Happy birthday, rock star!

Don't forget to smile uncomfortably when the whole family sings you Happy Birthday!

Happy Birthday! I would have bought you a gift, but it's above my sibling pay grade

Last year your birthday cake looked like a prairie fire! Keep adding those candles!

Happy birthday! May your cake be as large as your ego and as sweet as your charisma

Cheers to you on your birthday! May your wrinkles be outnumbered by your laugh lines

Cheers to the birthday boy/girl! May your wrinkles only be as visible as your wisdom

You know you are getting old when people call at 9 p.m. and ask, 'Did I wake you up?

Happy birthday to my favorite oldie but goodie! In dog years, you're...oh never mind

Happy Birthday, big guy! Don't forget to iron the wrinkles out of that birthday suit

I didn't forget your birthday; I just wanted to add some extra suspense to your life

Cheers to you on your birthday! May your wrinkles be outnumbered by your smile lines

Yes, I forgot your birthday. But on the bright side, I also don't remember your age!

I’d give you my last French fry. That’s really saying something! Happy birthday!

Happy Birthday to my big sister!!! Who will always hit every decade before I do!

Happy birthday! Here's to more years of pretending you don't care about getting older

Happy birthday! Here's to another year of avoiding wrinkles and embracing laugh lines

I can't figure out if life is passing us by or trying to run us over. Happy birthday!

You may no longer be considered young, but you'll always be immature. Happy birthday!

Whatever you do, don't let aging get you down. It's way too hard to get back up again!

Happy Birthday to a woman who's old enough to know better and young enough to not care

If it's any consolation, in whiskey years you're just getting tastier. Happy birthday!

Cheers to another year of making questionable decisions and laughing about them later!

How do two pickle friends celebrate each other? They relish their birthdays, of course

Is it hotter in here than usual? Must be all the candles on your cake. Happy birthday!

Everyone gets to be young once. Today it's official, your turn is over. Happy birthday!

You know you're getting old when the candles on your cake cost more than the cake itself

Happy birthday! Remember, age is just a number, but wrinkles are real estate for wisdom!

You deserve the best - which is why I showed up today. You’re welcome. Happy birthday!

I've already alerted the fire department, so go ahead and light the candles on your cake

You forgot my birthday present last year, so now I'm returning the favor. Happy birthday!

Happy birthday! Here's to more years of avoiding responsibility like it's a full-time job

May you celebrate this birthday the way you celebrated the first one: naked and screaming

Don’t forget to wear your birthday suit. But make sure you check it for wrinkles first!

Congratulations on making it through another year without a visit from the fashion police!

Cheers to you on your birthday! May your candles be the only thing getting blown this year

Happy birthday! We'll be friends until we're old and senile... then, we'll be new friends!

Cheers to you on your birthday! May your next midlife crisis be more exciting than your last

Cheers to you on your birthday! May your hairlines recede as gracefully as your wisdom grows

Another year older, wiser, and more like me. You're welcome. Happy birthday, little bro/sis!

They say the older you are, the wiser you become. At this rate, you’re basically Socrates!

Birthdays are like vacations. You don’t have one too often and they come and go too quickly

Happy birthday! Remember, age is just a state of mind... a very wrinkly, creaky state of mind

Happy birthday! Remember, age is like underwear: it creeps up on you when you least expect it

You’re still hot after all these years, but not as hot as your cake with all those candles!

Happy birthday! May your day be filled with as much joy as you pretending to enjoy small talk

Your big day is becoming a serious fire hazard. Blow them out! Quick! Oh, and happy birthday!

Happy birthday! Remember, our age is just the number of years the world has been enjoying us!

Happy birthday! May your day be filled with as much joy as you pretending to understand memes

What did the bald guy say when he got a comb for his birthday? Thanks, I'll never part with it

Happy birthday! Let's celebrate like it's 1999 – but try not to party like it's 2020, please

Happy birthday! Here's to more years of questionable dance moves and embarrassing party photos

Cheers to another year of being the life of the party – or at least trying really hard to be

You're so old now that people will start saying "you look good for your age" Happy Birthday

Happy birthday! I hope you’re not looking for a present because my presence is my gift to you

Happy birthday! Don't worry about getting older, you're still not as old as you'll be next year

Wishing you a birthday that's as hilarious as you are! Keep on making the world a funnier place

Congratulations on another year of being awesome! Or at least trying to be. You're doing great!

Stop counting the candles, it will take you until your next birthday to finish! Happy birthday!

You don’t look a day over 20. From a distance. With my eyes squinted. Happy birthday, bestie!

Happy birthday! May your special day be filled with less awkwardness than a middle school dance

Happy birthday! May your special day be filled with cake, laughter, and people you can tolerate

Happy birthday! Remember, you're not getting older, you're just getting more excuses to eat cake

Happy birthday! Remember, age is like fine wine: it only gets better with time... or so they say

You’re a really hard individual to shop for… so I didn’t get you anything. Happy birthday!

Happy birthday to the best sibling. I'm so grateful you came into my life to make me seem normal!

Happy birthday! But you might need to call the fire department to help blow out all those candles

Congratulations on another year of being fabulous! Or at least trying to fake it till you make it

Fun fact: birthdays are good for you! Statistics show that the more you have, the longer you live

Happy birthday! May your day be filled with as much joy as you pretending to understand technology

Congrats on reaching an age where you finally understand what "youth is wasted on the young" means

Happy birthday! Remember, you're not getting older, you're just leveling up... in the game of life

Happy birthday to one of the only people whose birthday I can remember without a Facebook reminder

Happy birthday to one of the only people I can actually tolerate on a daily basis! Well, most days

Statistics show that those who have the most birthdays live the longest. You're doing pretty well!

Happy Birthday! You know, you don’t look that old. But then, you don’t look that young, either

Cheers to you on your birthday! May your next year be filled with more adventures and less wrinkles

Happy Birthday, queen! You definitely don’t look a day older than the age you tell people you are

Happy birthday to a guy who continues to defy the effects of time, both in appearance and behavior!

Happy birthday! May your day be filled with as much joy as you pretending to enjoy family gatherings

Happy Birthday! Congratulations on turning another year younger. . . oh wait, my bad. I mean older!

Happy birthday! May your day be filled with as much joy as you pretending to understand social media

There’s really only one true birthday. The rest are anniversaries of the day of a person’s birth

Happy birthday, bestie! Here's a long life together, so we can be 100 and still gossiping like teens

Cheers to you on your birthday! May your age be just a number and your cake be the only thing on fire

Don't worry. Those aren't gray hairs. They're wisdom highlights. You just happen to be extremely wise

Happy anniversary of being Bourne. I still maintain that was Matt Damon, but I'm happy if you're happy

I may have missed the actual date, but my love and wishes for you are timeless. Happy belated birthday!

Happy birthday! Here's to you, the only person I know who can still look cool with a cake on their face

I wouldn't call you old... it's just that you've been young for longer than most of us. Happy Birthday!

Happy Birthday to someone who is comparable to fine wine and cheese. You just get better with age, lady!

Happy birthday! Can you believe we used to think people our age were adults and had their life in order?

Don't think of them as gray hairs. Think of them as strands of birthday glitter growing out of your head

A helpful reminder that calories don’t count on your birthday, so go on and have another piece of cake

Happiest of birthdays to the kid who always knows what to say, what to wear, and when to leave the party

Happy birthday! May your day be filled with more frosting than a bakery and less drama than a soap opera

Cheers to the birthday boy/girl! May your cake be as sweet as your dance moves (which is not saying much)

Don't think of it as aging, think of it as leveling up. Congratulations and here's to a great year ahead!

It’s your birthday! You're now a year closer to being that old guy who yells at kids to get off his lawn

Happy birthday to the luckiest man/woman in the world. Getting a man/woman like me is winning the lottery!

Happy birthday! Let's celebrate like it's your 21st – but try not to wake up feeling like it's your 50th

One minute, you’re young and fun. The next, you have a favorite burner on the stove. Which one is yours?

I can only hope to be as great a woman as you one day. But, obviously with better clothes. Happy birthday!

Happy birthday! Don't worry, you're not over the hill, you're just on top of a really big pile of presents

Happy birthday! May your day be filled with cake, candles, and not accidentally setting off the fire alarm

Happy birthday! Remember, age is just a number... a really big, scary number that keeps going up every year

Congratulations on reaching an age where you wake up at the same time you used to go to sleep on a Saturday

Like the clothes we covet, you’re not old, but vintage! Happy birthday to my shopping partner and bestie!

Everything in this world has a limit, but my love for you is limitless... most of the time. Happy birthday!

Another year, another candle on the cake. At this rate, your cake is going to need its own fire extinguisher

Happy birthday. I hope your special day is even better than last year's and not quite as good as next year's

I hope you celebrate this birthday the way you celebrated the first one: naked and screaming. Happy birthday!

Happy birthday! Remember, you're not over the hill, you're just on top of a really big mountain of experience

Congratulations on surviving another year! You're officially old enough to start complaining about everything

Happy birthday! You're like a fine wine—getting older only makes you more valuable and smell a little funky!

Congratulations on another trip around the sun! Don't worry, you're not getting older, just more distinguished

Congrats on reaching an age where you can finally laugh at the "getting old" jokes without crying on the inside

Happy birthday! You know you're getting old when you can't remember how old you are. So, how old are you again?

Happy Birthday! Thank you for the sacrifice of being the older sibling paving the way, and making me look good!

Happy birthday to my favorite funny bone! May your day be filled with more laughter than a clown car at a circus

Happy birthday! Remember, you're not getting older, you're just increasing in value... like a rare Pokémon card

Congratulations on surviving another year! You're officially old enough to start forgetting where you put things

Happy birthday! You're not getting older; you're just upgrading to a version with more 'wisdom' and fewer 'teeth

Happy birthday! Remember, you're not getting older, you're just increasing in value... like a vintage vinyl record

I know you had lots of birthday wishes yesterday, but who is thinking of you today? Me, that's who! Happy belated!

They say take every birthday with a grain of salt. I say take it with a fully rim of salt on a very large margarita

Congratulations on turning another year older! You know you're getting old when the candles cost more than the cake

Happy birthday! I’m really glad you were born today. My life would be so totally boring without you there to watch

Happy birthday! May your age be just a number and your cake be the only thing collapsing under the weight of candles

It's time to get this party started! But seriously, let's get a move on—we both know you can't stay up past 10 p.m

Happy birthday! Remember, you're not getting older, you're just getting more experienced at pretending to be an adult

Happy birthday! I think you're supposed to get finer and wiser with age? Well, that's okay, there's always next year!

Happy birthday to someone who's aging like a fine cheese, getting stinkier and more delicious with each passing year!

Happy birthday to the only person I know who can get away with using anti-aging cream and a fake ID at the same time!

If anyone calls you old this birthday, don't worry about it. Just hit him with your cane and throw your dentures at him

Happy belated birthday! I was going for the surprise element. Who knew arriving after the party could be so suspenseful?

I didn't forget your birthday; I just wanted to test your patience. Congratulations, you passed! Belated happy birthday!

Happy birthday! Remember, you're not getting older, you're just getting more distinguished... or at least more noticeable

As you get older three things happen. The first is your memory goes, and I can’t remember the other two. Happy birthday!

For your birthday, I wanted to give you something that was absolutely wonderful, but then I remembered you already have me

Cheers to the one who still makes my heart skip a beat – and not just because I almost forgot it was your birthday again!

Happy birthday! May your day be filled with as much joy as you pretending to remember everyone's names at family gatherings

Happy birthday! Don't worry, you're not getting older, you're just increasing in value... like a fine wine or vintage cheese

Friends celebrate friends on their birthdays. Real friends get you buzzed on your birthday. Good thing I’m the second kind

Congratulations on another trip around the sun! You know you're getting old when the candles on your cake set off the smoke alarm

Just wanted to be the first one to wish you happy birthday so I can feel superior to your other well-wishers. So, happy birthday!

Happy birthday! Remember, you're not getting older, you're just getting more reasons to celebrate... and more reasons to complain

The best part of being older is that you did most of your stupid stuff before social media. Cheers to another trip around the sun!

Remember, age is like underwear – it creeps up on you when you least expect it. But at least you can change your age on Facebook

You know, you've just turned the perfect age. You're old enough to recognize your mistakes but young enough to make a few more more

Happy belated birthday to someone who's so awesome that they deserve to be celebrated every day, not just on their actual birthday!

Cheers to you on your birthday! May your age be just a number and your cake be the only thing collapsing under the weight of candles

Congratulations on turning another year older! You know you're getting old when you start enjoying the sound of your joints cracking

Cheers to another year of making questionable decisions together! Happy birthday, my partner in crime and the craziest friend I know!

Another birthday spent together...you know we're going to be friends 'til we're old and senile, right? And then we'll be new friends!

I'm sorry for the delay in my birthday wishes. Let's just blame it on Mercury being in retrograde. Happy belated birthday, my friend!

A wise man once said, "Forget about your past, you cannot change it". I'd like to add: "Forget about your present, I didn't get you one"

A wise person once said, "Forget about your past, you cannot change it." I'd like to add: "Forget about your present, I didn't get you one!

You’re the Thelma to my Louise, the Snoop to my Martha, and the Selena to my Taylor. Wishing the happiest birthday to my partner in crime!

I couldn't decide what to get you for your birthday, so I thought I'd give you the gift of suspense. Happy belated birthday, my patient friend!

Happy birthday to the person who has seen me at my best, my worst, and my weirdest... and still loves me anyway! You're stuck with me for life!

Happy birthday to someone who is not only a year older but also a year closer to qualifying for the senior discount. Enjoy the perks, ancient one!

Happy birthday, hubby! They say the way to a man's heart is through his stomach. I'm not sure if that's true, but I did get you a cake just in case

They say the older you get, the wiser you become. So, at your age, you must be the wisest person I know... or at least the one with the most birthdays

Happy birthday to the sister who knows me better than anyone else and still manages to like me. You're either a saint or just really good at pretending

Sorry for the delay, but the good news is that now your birthday celebration can last even longer! Belated happy birthday to the coolest person I know!

Congrats on surviving another year! Just remember, at your age, it's important to start using your blinker when changing lanes... in the grocery store!

Congratulations on surviving another year of my snoring. I know it's a tough job, but someone has to do it. Happy birthday, my sleep-deprived soulmate!

Congratulations on reaching an age where your back goes out more than you do! Happy birthday, and may your joints be as flexible as your sense of humor

Happy birthday! It's time to celebrate like there's no tomorrow – but let's not forget there's always a tomorrow, and it usually comes with a headache

I didn't want to be the first one to wish you a happy birthday. I wanted to be the last one so that you'd remember me the longest! Happy belated birthday!

May your social media pages be filled with birthday wishes from people you’ve never met, haven’t seen in years or genuinely couldn’t care less about

On your birthday, I thought of giving you the cutest gift in the world. But then I realized that is not possible because you are the cutest gift in the world

I'm not saying I'm forgetful, but I just remembered your birthday... fashionably late. Belated happy birthday, and may my memory improve before your next one!

Forget about the past you can’t change, the future you can’t predict and definitely forget about the present because I didn’t get you one. Happy birthday!

They say good things come to those who wait, so consider this belated wish the best thing ever. Belated happy birthday, and may the delay bring you extra happiness!

Wishing my favorite (and only) sister the happiest birthday ever! May your day be filled with joy, laughter, and fewer annoying questions about borrowing your stuff

It’s your (birthday) party and you’ll cry if you want to, though I don’t recommend it. We'll be taking loads of pics tonight and you don't want to streak your mascara

Happy birthday, darling! Remember, you're not getting older; you're just leveling up in the game of life. And as your devoted player two, I'm here for all the co-op adventures ahead!

Happy birthday! You're not just my sister; you're my partner in crime, my co-conspirator, and the reason our parents have more gray hair. Here's to another year of mischief and laughter!

Cheers to the one who knows all my secrets and still decides to be seen in public with me. Happy birthday, bestie! May your day be filled with as much joy as our late-night gossip sessions

Happy birthday, bestie! Remember, age is just a number, but in your case, it's a really high one. Just kidding – you're like a fine wine, getting better with age. Or maybe just fermented. Cheers!

Congratulations on turning another year older and still not having your life together. You're not getting older; you're just collecting more experiences... and probably a few more gray hairs. Happy birthday sis/bro!